How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Anything and everything about Thailand
User avatar
Undaunted
Posts: 1886
Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2016 8:47 am
Has thanked: 18 times
Been thanked: 266 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by Undaunted » Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:34 pm

Gaybutton wrote:
Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:27 pm
Dodger wrote:
Sat Sep 14, 2019 4:08 pm
I believe I would be inclined to carry my bar bin over to the inconsiderate farang and ask him to pay it.
I like that idea.
If I really wanted the boy I would be happy to pay the bin, If the customer only wanted the boy’s company in the bar and was actually stopping the boy from an off and I wanted to off him, why not?
"In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king"

User avatar
Gaybutton
Posts: 16226
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:21 am
Location: Thailand
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 720 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by Gaybutton » Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:42 pm

Undaunted wrote:
Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:34 pm
and I wanted to off him, why not?
Why do I think I would never have that problem with you since over the years we've made it obvious that my type and your type are totally different?

I'm lucky. Your type seems to appeal to a great many more farang than my type does, so I've never had this sort of problem happen to me.

gerefan
Posts: 421
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2010 6:33 am
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 34 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by gerefan » Sun Sep 15, 2019 8:15 am

A similar thing happens in beer bars. I once ordered a drink on arrival and offered the waiter one. He accepted, they always do.
Little did I know that he was sitting with another farang before I arrived, as he sat with me to sip his drink.
The farang went absolutely ballistic, yelled at the boy and stormed off leaving the lad in tears.
It is perhaps unfortunate that they accept multiple drinks and sit for a few minutes with each farang. I would prefer it if they simply said “sorry I am busy with Mr John...”
However it’s Thailand, and cash is king!

User avatar
Gaybutton
Posts: 16226
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:21 am
Location: Thailand
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 720 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by Gaybutton » Sun Sep 15, 2019 8:30 am

gerefan wrote:
Sun Sep 15, 2019 8:15 am
The farang went absolutely ballistic, yelled at the boy and stormed off leaving the lad in tears.
At least it happened in Thailand. If something similar happened in the USA, somebody would likely have ended up getting shot.

Dodger
Posts: 1163
Joined: Sun Aug 01, 2010 2:58 am
Has thanked: 10 times
Been thanked: 266 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by Dodger » Sun Sep 15, 2019 12:30 pm

Undaunted wrote:
Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:34 pm
If I really wanted the boy I would be happy to pay the bin, If the customer only wanted the boy’s company in the bar and was actually stopping the boy from an off and I wanted to off him, why not?
Because that's not the way it works over here.

To begin with, you would have no idea what the other customer's intentions were, and to be blunt, it's not any of your business what the other customer's intentions were. You've been here long enough to know that.

fountainhall
Posts: 2622
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2017 11:45 am
Location: Bangkok
Has thanked: 223 times
Been thanked: 585 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by fountainhall » Sun Sep 15, 2019 1:26 pm

Undaunted wrote:
Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:34 pm
If I really wanted the boy I would be happy to pay the bin, If the customer only wanted the boy’s company in the bar and was actually stopping the boy from an off and I wanted to off him, why not?
I have to agree. And as I posted out earlier, going back decades that has always been the case when I have been in bars in Bangkok - but without the need to pay the other customer's bin. In my not inconsiderable experience the definite offer of an off has always taken precedence. Obviously Pattaya practice is different.

User avatar
Undaunted
Posts: 1886
Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2016 8:47 am
Has thanked: 18 times
Been thanked: 266 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by Undaunted » Sun Sep 15, 2019 2:35 pm

Dodger “the way it works here” is up 2 me! How many idiots take up the boy’s time with no intention to off him maybe not even buy him a drink and maybe give him 50/100 baht while someone who really wants to off the boy leaves!
"In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king"

User avatar
Gaybutton
Posts: 16226
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:21 am
Location: Thailand
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 720 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by Gaybutton » Sun Sep 15, 2019 3:22 pm

Undaunted wrote:
Sun Sep 15, 2019 2:35 pm
How many idiots take up the boy’s time with no intention to off him
Why do I think worrying about whether the boy gets an off with that customer is not your main priority?

I'm closer to Dodger's stance. If I've called a boy over to sit with me, and at some point someone decides he wants the same boy, too bad. He'll either have to wait or take a different boy. But I also think your point is valid if I've had the boy sitting with me for an unusually long time without taking him off or buying him additional drinks.

If I've called a boy over and all I want is a drink with him and a chat, and then someone walks into the bar and wants the same boy, he would have no way of knowing how long the boy has already been sitting with me. And if he wants to take him off, does he walk into the bar and immediately take him off and leave without calling him over and buying a drink first? If he is going have him come over for a drink first, what is that going to look like to the customer he "snaked" him from? I could see that developing into trouble.

Suppose you've been in the bar as long as the customer has been there with the boy. At some point you decide you want the boy the customer is sitting with. Do you think it's right to interfere even though you don't know the customer's intentions?

Suppose you want the boy a customer is sitting with, but the customer more or less tells you to fuck off. What are you going to do then? Are you going to go away? Are you going to start an argument? Are you going to start a fight?

And what about the boy? Doesn't he get any say in the matter? Do you think he would want any part of someone making a scene?

Dodger
Posts: 1163
Joined: Sun Aug 01, 2010 2:58 am
Has thanked: 10 times
Been thanked: 266 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by Dodger » Sun Sep 15, 2019 3:27 pm

Undaunted wrote:
Sun Sep 15, 2019 2:35 pm
Dodger “the way it works here” is up 2 me! How many idiots take up the boy’s time with no intention to off him maybe not even buy him a drink and maybe give him 50/100 baht while someone who really wants to off the boy leaves!
I know. It's frustrating, but that's pretty much how it goes.

I'm sure you must have noticed, but the boys, the experienced ones anyway, have this uncanny ability to ignore the "cheap charlies" either by turning their backs on them while they're on stage, refusing to make eye contact, etc., which sometimes works, and sometime doesn't. But in any event, once a boy makes the decision to sit with a customer he's committed to staying with him as long as the customer is paying for his drinks. If a punter really wants to off #12, then all he has to do is either show up at the bar when it first opens, or arrange this with #12 and/or the manasan the night before. If you're not dead set on a particular boy, and just spinning the wheel, it's first-come-first-served.

Personally, none of this ever concerned me in the least, because if the boy I wanted to off was already sitting with a customer when I arrived at the bar, I would either look at the other boys, or simply go somewhere else. Of course there was always the option of returning to the same bar the next night a bit earlier if I was that obsessed with the boy.

Of course there are no hard and fast rules that a punter must follow at the boy bars, but there is an unwritten form of etiquette that's expected. Boys who ditch a paying customer in an attempt to make more money from a different customer earn the appropriate reputation, and usually, at least from my experience, have short-lived careers on the working scene. Customers who snipe boys away from other paying customers earn the same reputation. Not to belabor this point, but you are absolutely correct by saying "the way it works here is Up2U", but the opinions others have about your actions are Up2Them.

User avatar
Gaybutton
Posts: 16226
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:21 am
Location: Thailand
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 720 times

Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?

Post by Gaybutton » Sun Sep 15, 2019 3:40 pm

Dodger wrote:
Sun Sep 15, 2019 3:27 pm
Of course there was always the option of returning to the same bar the next night
You could probably even return the same night. If the customer is not going to take the boy off and you return 45 minutes to an hour later, chances are good that customer is already with a different boy or has left.

Post Reply