Being Unfaithful

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Being Unfaithful

If my partner were unfaithful, and I was allowed to choose, I would prefer him to be unfaithful sexually without any emotional attachment.
29
88%
If my partner were unfaithful, and I was allowed to choose, I would prefer him to be unfaithful emotionally without any sexual component.
4
12%
 
Total votes: 33

RichLB
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Being Unfaithful

Post by RichLB »

Serious Replies Only Please I've asked this question for years to men and women, both gay and straight, but never in Thailand. I'd be interested to see how you guys feel about it and if motivated your reasons for answering as you did.
Jason1988

Re: Being Unfaithful

Post by Jason1988 »

If my partner were unfaithful, and I was allowed to choose, I would prefer him to be unfaithful sexually without any emotional attachment.
Sex is sex but love is love and an emotional attachment is much different than a sexual encounter.
An occasional fling will sometimes bring the bored back to reality.
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Gaybutton
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Re: Being Unfaithful

Post by Gaybutton »

I voted for the first choice, although I'm not sure I really grasp what you mean. My feeling is I don't have a problem if the boyfriend wants to play around sexually with other Thai boys. I do have a problem with it if he is going to have sex with other farang, but other Thai boys are ok with me. Also, I want to be at liberty to do the same thing on occasion. Also, I don't think I would want him telling me about it (unless, of course, the boy he is playing with happens to be my type and they're interested in a threesome. If that's the case, I'm all ears - and I do mean that seriously).
lexusgs

Re: Being Unfaithful

Post by lexusgs »

I voted for the first option also. The overwhelming majority of men play away in both the gay or straight world. It's a fact of life. I fail to see the difference between playing with farang or Thai boys. Playing away is playing away. Plain and simple. I would be interested to understand why there is a difference from a psychological point of view.
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Gaybutton
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Re: Being Unfaithful

Post by Gaybutton »

lexusgs wrote:I would be interested to understand why there is a difference from a psychological point of view.
I can't give you a logical reason, psychological or otherwise, but nevertheless that's the way I feel. Maybe it's partly because I wouldn't have an objection to him being sexually active with someone I might be interested in being sexually active with too. I could handle being the farang among his bevy of Thai boys, but I would not want to be a farang among his bevy of other farang. It's a totally different thing when I take a boy off, but if it's a boyfriend, now it's a different story.
lvdkeyes
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Re: Being Unfaithful

Post by lvdkeyes »

Another poorly worded poll IMO. My choice would be that he can be unfaithful in any way he wants, but not while he is supposed to be committed to me. I would show him the door, as I have done in the past.
YardenUK

Re: Being Unfaithful

Post by YardenUK »

an infidel is an infidel surely? I am with lvdkeyes on this one, although I guess some people can handle infidelity - for me it is a bridge too far, emotional, sexual or a combo of the two....

but ultimately every couple have their own rules of engagement - Vive la différence!
cdnmatt

Re: Being Unfaithful

Post by cdnmatt »

Couldn't vote. He's not allowed to cheat on me either way; physically or emotionally. I've devoted almost everything to him, so I expect nothing less in return. You think I like putting in 16 hour days, and not even get to spend all my own money?

Well, it's his life, so he can cheat on me if he'd like. It'd bring about an abrupt end to our relationship though. Same with him though. If I ever cheated on him, he'd be totally crushed, and far more hurt than I would be if he cheated on me.
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Gaybutton
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Re: Being Unfaithful

Post by Gaybutton »

cdnmatt wrote:Well, it's his life, so he can cheat on me if he'd like.
For me, the question would be what you would consider to be cheating. If two people made a commitment with each other to be sexually faithful, then if either party has sex with someone else, now it's cheating. I was in a lousy relationship, but for both of us there was no problem about sex with others because we understood the difference between love and lust. Quite often we would go to a bar together. He would take one boy off and I would take another. Often he would even help me decide which boy to take. He would go to the boy's room and I would take the boy I had offed to our room. At some point the next day, he would return. There were even times when the four of us went out to eat together. That worked beautifully for us and neither of us thought of it as cheating. To me, a fundamental aspect of cheating is when one or both are trying to hide it and keep the other from knowing what's going on. It's too bad the other aspects of our relationship failed to work out in the end, but that part of it was good for us both.

It's also interesting to me to see that the votes, so far, are unanimous. That's a first!
lvdkeyes
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Re: Being Unfaithful

Post by lvdkeyes »

Did it ever occur to you that the whole premise of that kind of relationship just sets up a scenario that is doomed to fail?
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