Think my boyfriend took my passwords

[thaiophilus]

frankly I think he will just deny taking it.
I’m thinking he took it but got scared I’d find it on him and he threw it out.

Why not just ask him? Not "did you take it?" but "have you seen it?" which gives him a face-saving way to "find" it if he did take it.

Personally I use the Stanford Password Hash https://crypto.stanford.edu/PwdHash/ method.
You remember just one (more if you choose) password and the hash combines it with the website URL to give a unique password per site. There's no single point of failure apart from the password stored in your head.

[bkkguy]

There's no single point of failure apart from the password stored in your head.

with a decent password manager it is the same - one master password stored in your head, and all xkcd fans know how to get around this regardless of the strength of the encryption protocol used

https://xkcd.com/538

[Gaybutton]

Why not just ask him? Not "did you take it?" but "have you seen it?" which gives him a face-saving way to "find" it if he did take it.

Suppose his answer to "have you seen it?" is yes. Then what? It would be quite obvious that he took it, but if he is essentially saying "I found it" where does that leave Rocket? The boyfriend might have saved face, but he has also proven he can't be trusted. That scenario would make it all the more difficult to get rid of him.

Again I hope in the end it turns out that Rocket simply misplaced it somehow. But if it doesn't work out that way and the boy did indeed take it for whatever reason, then it seems like the easiest way to deal with it would be to end the relationship a couple weeks from now when he returns to the USA. If the relationship has to come to an end, I hope it will at least happen for the right reason.

Try as I might, I still can't come up with any reason why the boy would want to take the list. And if he did take it, is the boy so incredibly stupid not to realize Rocket would notice it missing?

If the boy did take it, can anyone come up with a reason that makes sense as to why he would do that, and do it in such a way that Rocket would be sure to notice it missing?

My latest question for Rocket - has anything else happened that would cast suspicion on the boy?

[Rocket]

Why not just ask him? Not "did you take it?" but "have you seen it?"

From my understanding Thais don’t understand Have you seen it?. It’s too literal. Plus we use google translate which really makes communication confusing.

I think I’ll explain its missing and it’s possible he took it. Then say I didn’t look thoroughly enough, maybe he can find it in the bureau when I go swimming. Then I’ll leave and come back in 45 minutes.
But emphasize that our relationship is in jeopardy if I don’t find it.

[Jun]

Very true! I found car keys in the freezer once!

I've left stuff in the fridge before now.

I think I’ll explain its missing and it’s possible he took it. Then say I didn’t look thoroughly enough, maybe he can find it in the bureau when I go swimming. Then I’ll leave and come back in 45 minutes.
But emphasize that our relationship is in jeopardy if I don’t find it.

If that were in my house, I'd turn the house upside down looking for it before accusing anyone.
But you may be more organised than me. Which isn't difficult !

Also, as long as you've discretely made sure you can't suffer significant losses from hacking, what's the harm in waiting to see if conclusive evidence appears ?

[Rocket]

My latest question for Rocket - has anything else happened that would cast suspicion on the boy?

What cast suspicion was at the bar we were discussing how I would send the funds to pay for his student loans. He was very inquisitive about which method, Western Union etc. I mentioned Xoom, wish I hadn’t because I believe he has the password for that one.
So to me, if he found the passwords he might be thinking he can check my balances, or possibly make transfers if I were to break up with him. I also mentioned it’s possible I might get back together with my boyfriend of seven years. Maybe he’s insecure I’ll leave him or cheat on him as so often happens and he’ll at least have something of mine that could be useful for revenge if needed.So I’m not surprised that a money boy in his twenties would be surprised to see passwords and think of it as an opportunity.
Of course before this all happened I wasn’t concerned at all, but looking back his desire for money is quite strong. Especially coming from a poor environment.
His big mistake was thinking I wouldn’t notice them gone. Now I can change my security before anything bad might happen. I’m not rushing this as everything is as before relationship wise, but I have the knowledge of what happened.
I’m sure when I confront him he will deny anything. However I’ll mention that I can’t buy him anymore gold as I don’t have my password for the credit card account. That might make him find it real fast.

[Gaybutton]

That might make him find it real fast.

Based on your post it is clear you don't trust him and didn't trust him right from the start. From what you are saying neither would I. Why on earth did you have him come to live with you? This relationship was doomed from the start, even if he did not take your list. You've been busy giving him money, gold, a place to live, food - and no matter how much you give him it is never enough.

Unfortunately, that is nothing new and it's a story I've heard many times over the years.

I'm sorry to say it, but I think you already know this relationship is over. My advice is to get rid of him - "real fast". It may not be easy, but nevertheless it will have to be done. You do have an easy way out. You told him you might again get together with your boyfriend of 7 years. You can tell him that has happened. I'd give him some sort of severance - perhaps enough for him to rent a room and eat for a month - good luck and goodbye.

I hope, for your sake, it is lesson learned. Next time don't be so quick to have a boy live with you, especially a money boy.

I think it is appropriate to post again my favorite quote from Richard Burk. I'm sure many of you remember Richard.

"If you want love in Thailand, rent it."

[Jun]

What cast suspicion was at the bar we were discussing how I would send the funds to pay for his student loans. He was very inquisitive about which method, Western Union etc.

I'd regard that as taking a healthy interest in finance. Knowing how to transfer money without losing a significant percentage of it is worthwhile. Or in the case of some lads in Pattaya, knowing how to receive money from people overseas.

The only real piece of evidence that comes across in written posts is the loss of the password list. You may also be able to read body language, but being sat at a keyboard, we can't.

Only once I were 100% sure that he took it, would I take visible action. That action would be to kick him out immediately.
Of course, I would be looking to safeguard my interests by changing passwords, but there's no need to declare that.

[Rocket]

Based on your post it is clear you don't trust him and didn't trust him right from the start.

Well I misjudged him from the start because he has a job in Bangkok. I thought he was just visiting and that he wasn’t a money boy. Also his uncle came from Bangkok to check me out. He has a good job in the government. For some reason I couldn’t figure out he was a money boy right away. But it’s clear that’s his main focus.

Last night he mentioned we get married because we need to before I can buy a house for us,lol.

Then again it’s easy to turn a boy into a money boy. I pay him more than his salary so I’m sure many boys with jobs would prefer to hook up with a foreigner. Get paid more and only work is the sex part.
I know he doesn’t enjoy it.

[Gaybutton]

For some reason I couldn’t figure out he was a money boy right away.

That happens. Sometimes what ought to be obvious just doesn't register, at least not immediately, because people often believe what they want to believe regardless of the evidence.

It's a shame, but again based on your post it is clear this boy is out to soak you for every baht he can get. I had hoped he is innocent, and he very well might be concerning your password list, but there are too many other red lights. In short, you need to get rid of him, and the sooner the better.