How Do You Feel When This Happens?
- Undaunted
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How Do You Feel When This Happens?
You have offed a boy before from a gogo whom was special (at least to you) you return and he is with another farang whom after a few drinks leaves with your “special boy”?
"In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king"
Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?
Business as usual! I did hear from a lad who said he always does his best to make the customer feel good about the encounter.
- Undaunted
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Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?
I was devastated........for at least 11 minuteswindwalker wrote: ↑Fri Sep 13, 2019 11:14 pm Business as usual! I did hear from a lad who said he always does his best to make the customer feel good about the encounter.
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"In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king"
- Captain Kirk
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- Gaybutton
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Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?
I think it depends on your point of view and experience.
Someone with little or no experience in gay bars who comes to Thailand, is overwhelmed by his first experience in the bars, ends up with a boy who makes him feel and maybe actually makes him believe that it's love at first sight - and then he returns to find the boy with someone else, he is likely to be crushed and it may even ruin his holiday.
On the other hand, someone who has lived here for years, has years of experience with the bar scene, has become jaded, knows what the bar scene is really all about and how it works - he returns to find the boy he really likes with someone else, he probably isn't worried about it, knows the boy is trying to make money, maybe gets another boy as long as he's there, and knows the boy he really wanted will be available next time. And even if the boy isn't available, he knows there are plenty more where that boy came from.
Someone with little or no experience in gay bars who comes to Thailand, is overwhelmed by his first experience in the bars, ends up with a boy who makes him feel and maybe actually makes him believe that it's love at first sight - and then he returns to find the boy with someone else, he is likely to be crushed and it may even ruin his holiday.
On the other hand, someone who has lived here for years, has years of experience with the bar scene, has become jaded, knows what the bar scene is really all about and how it works - he returns to find the boy he really likes with someone else, he probably isn't worried about it, knows the boy is trying to make money, maybe gets another boy as long as he's there, and knows the boy he really wanted will be available next time. And even if the boy isn't available, he knows there are plenty more where that boy came from.
Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?
This has happened, but not that often.
Much more common occurrences are:
1 A farang is sitting with the boy I want and I have a long wait before the farang tips him and sends him back to the stage.
2 I enter a bar and a boy I offed previously is constantly making eye contact, or even inviting himself to sit with me. If the boy was a dud, I send him straight back. If he was good, then I am a bit more diplomatic about it.
Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?
Last Christmas I offed a cute guy from a Boyztown Go Go Bar. It went very well so I returned the following night and there he was, sitting with an Asian customer and looking like he was there for the evening.
I sat on the opposite side of the bar so he didn’t see me at first. When he noticed me he promptly came across and said “You off me?”. I said “I would but you are with someone” as I indicated the Asian sitting opposite.
He looked across the bar and said “Oh he can f••• me later!”. I felt a bit awkward but the guy spoke to his Asian customer and it seemed OK.
So an apparently unsuccessful evening turned out fine. I suppose that it probably means that I was the better tipper.
If things had been the other way around I would have been very annoyed if another customer poached my “off” but it didn’t seem to be a problem.
I sat on the opposite side of the bar so he didn’t see me at first. When he noticed me he promptly came across and said “You off me?”. I said “I would but you are with someone” as I indicated the Asian sitting opposite.
He looked across the bar and said “Oh he can f••• me later!”. I felt a bit awkward but the guy spoke to his Asian customer and it seemed OK.
So an apparently unsuccessful evening turned out fine. I suppose that it probably means that I was the better tipper.
If things had been the other way around I would have been very annoyed if another customer poached my “off” but it didn’t seem to be a problem.
Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?
It happened to me a few times over the years. But I was always told by several mamaans that if I wanted a boy who happened to be drinking with another customer, he would go over and bring him to me - unless the other customer had either already said he would off him (unlikely as the boy would then be in street clothes) or immediately said he wished to off him. It worked most of the times!
- Gaybutton
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Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?
That bothers me. I would be mad as hell if I had called a boy over, bought a drink for him, and just want to enjoy my time sitting with him for a while, but don't want to take him off - and then some farang who I've never seen or heard of decides to interfere and wants to take him off immediately because he's impatient and can't wait until I send the boy back to the dance floor. If anyone, including the boy himself, cooperates with that, I definitely would not take kindly to it. I know of no bar rule that says a farang who wants to take a boy off gets priority and preferential treatment if the boy is already sitting with another customer.
I'm a customer in the bar. I was there before somebody else who likes him came in. I called him over. I bought and paid for his drink. I'll be giving him his tip for sitting with me. I want to enjoy my time in the bar without somebody trying to interfere with it.
Don't even think about trying to wrest him away from me unless I'm keeping him with me for an unreasonable amount of time without buying more drinks for both him and me.
If you come over and politely tell me you would like to take this boy off and ask if would it be ok, for me that would be different. I would probably say, "Sure. Have a good time." But if a waiter or mama-san came over to tell me unless I'm taking him off, I have to say goodbye to the boy now because that farang over there wants to take him off, we would have a problem.
For me, either ask me yourself or wait until I send him back to the stage.
Captain Kirk is right - first come, first served. And if I was first come and was first served, if some farang walks in later and wants the same boy I'm with, but he can't wait, too bad.
Re: How Do You Feel When This Happens?
I basically agree with you. On the other hand, as so many owners and mamasans in now dead Soi Twilight told me and even further back in Barbiery in its heyday, they are in business to make money. The main reason for many bars and most of the boys - at least in older times - is also to make money. Money comes from offs and tips. If a definite offer of an off from one customer materialises, that trumps a boy drinking with another customer.
From the boy's viewpoint, on the one hand he is getting a free drink or two and a couple of tiny kickbacks from the bar as his commission. Perhaps also Bt. 100 or 200 from the customer for sitting with him. On the other is a confirmed Bt. 1,000 or more in a short time tip and a possible return to the bar later. There is no competition, the more so when the prospective customer might just walk out as he's not interested in another boy. Also the boy is not being taken away from the customer who has bought him drinks. That customer has prior claim for an off. But if he is not interested, the confirmed off would always trump just drinks.
That's what I always understood and it never bothered me. If I was sitting with a boy but had no interest in an off, I had no problem with his going to earn much more cash from another customer who did want to off him.
From the boy's viewpoint, on the one hand he is getting a free drink or two and a couple of tiny kickbacks from the bar as his commission. Perhaps also Bt. 100 or 200 from the customer for sitting with him. On the other is a confirmed Bt. 1,000 or more in a short time tip and a possible return to the bar later. There is no competition, the more so when the prospective customer might just walk out as he's not interested in another boy. Also the boy is not being taken away from the customer who has bought him drinks. That customer has prior claim for an off. But if he is not interested, the confirmed off would always trump just drinks.
That's what I always understood and it never bothered me. If I was sitting with a boy but had no interest in an off, I had no problem with his going to earn much more cash from another customer who did want to off him.