. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOLD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
. WHY DO THEY LOCK PETROL STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE ROAD SIGNS?
. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?
. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?
. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?