Boys Requesting Money

[Jun]

Maybe I'm jaded or have become a grumpy old man, but when it comes to these boys, as soon as I see even one "red light" I almost always end it and end any further contact right then and there - and with very few exceptions it stays that way. I don't need the aggravation. As I've posted many times, over the years I learned the hard way, at least for me that's the best way to handle it.

I can see that's the right answer. But it's just a case of considering what my threshold is to cut someone off.

I've also spent most of my holidays butterflying, which is a good defence from getting too involved with someone else's problems. For years, I'd make sure I don't see the same boy twice in a row. But more recently I've let that slip.
In particular, there's at least on lad who is very good company when I'm in Thailand. However, I'm going to very quickly lose patience with his requests for money when I'm out of Thailand.

[Gaybutton]

I'm going to very quickly lose patience with his requests for money when I'm out of Thailand.

The way I used to handle that, before living in Thailand, and I don't know if it would still work, was first I would not give him any of my contact information. Second, when I was seeing him for the last time before leaving I would give him a very good tip and just tell him that is all until I return to Thailand. I would tell him I won't send money, so please don't try. I will ignore any pleas for money and, if necessary, cut all contact if you persist. I would say sorry, but I am not an ATM and I need my money for ME.

Most of the time that worked. When it didn't I really would cut contact, and that included when I returned to Thailand. If I encountered him during a return trip and he wanted to re-establish anything, I would let him know he was warned what would happen if he persisted about money and I meant what I said. It might have been awkward, but I knew there were plenty more boys.

I was not about to let myself fall into the money trap. It didn't take very long to understand and learn why the late Richard Burk, owner of the now long gone Amor restaurant in Boyztown, had his philosophy, which I have posted many times. Here it is again:

"If you want love in Thailand, rent it."

If you don't remember Richard, here he is:

[Gaybutton]

As an aside, everybody who knew Richard had Richard Burk stories. I had several. This one is my favorite:

Richard was not exactly known for being a spendthrift. During the time he had the Amor, Microsoft had come out with some sort of upgrade that ended up causing serious problems on many computers, including Richard's. Richard knew I was fairly good with computers.

I was sitting at the beach, Rit's, when Richard called me and said he installed that upgrade and now he not only cannot access all his business records, but can't even get his computer to open. He asked me to please come to his apartment right away, which was in the north part of the city, very near where Second Road intersects with Pattaya Klang (Central Road), and try to help him with his computer.

I left the beach and went to his apartment. I sat down with his computer and went to work. It took me a good 3 full hours, but I finally managed to fix the problem and he was able to access his business records again. When I was nearly finished he said, "You haven't been to the Amor lately."

I said, "Well, I'm a little short of money this month and your restaurant is expensive."

He asked me if I had driven my car to his apartment. I said yes.

He said, "When you finish I'd like you to drive me to the Amor and have dinner."

I said, "Thank you very much, Richard. That's very kind of you."

When I finally finished I took him to the Amor and ordered my dinner. While I was eating, Richard came over and gave me the bill for the meal. I looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

He said, "I know you said you're short of money this month. Don't worry about it. You can pay the bill next month when your money comes in."

THAT was typical Richard. People who knew him well weren't even surprised when I told them the story.

[Rocket]

Well your friend Richard sounds like a real cheapskate and I would not want him as my friend.

[Gaybutton]

Well your friend Richard sounds like a real cheapskate and I would not want him as my friend.

He was a real cheapskate, for sure. No question about it. He was the very definition of cheapskate. And yet I still liked him very much and we were friends for many years. Don't ask me why. I can't even explain it to myself.

And crazy as this is, I actually miss him very much.

[Jun]

The way I used to handle that, before living in Thailand, and I don't know if it would still work, was first I would not give him any of my contact information. Second, when I was seeing him for the last time before leaving I would give him a very good tip and just tell him that is all until I return to Thailand. I would tell him I won't send money, so please don't try. I will ignore any pleas for money and, if necessary, cut all contact if you persist. I would say sorry, but I am not an ATM and I need my money for ME.

Having their contact details is so convenient when I am in Thailand.
It's so easy to fix repeat appointments with boys who I like.

Also, requests for money have not really been a problem until recently.
In the past, most of the money requests were from boys I'd seen once or perhaps twice and they weren't the best in bed. It's not my responsibility to subsidise people who are no good at their jobs. They usually stopped messaging me quite quickly, but in principle, I have no problem ignoring or blocking messages from boys like that.

The boys I see regularly tended not to pester me for money. Until now.

However, I always give them only my Line & never the phone number.
It's possible to switch off the incoming voice calls on Line, so I never have to fend off incoming phone calls (unlike some people ).
I just get text messages, which can be answered at the time of my choosing. I should start answering MUCH more slowly.

One boy I know has had 5 Line accounts in 6 years. Every time I go back, his old Line doesn't work & when he sees me, he's desperate to get my Line ID. I keep telling him you can back up the Line and copy it to a new phone. He says "I forgot", with his delightful smile. Perhaps there's some method in his madness.

Incidentally, he's one of the majority who have never asked for unearned money.

[gerefan]

"If you want love in Thailand, rent it."

The Aviation community has a similar expression:
“ If it flies, floats or fucks it cheaper to rent it”.

[Jun]

“ If it flies, floats or fucks it cheaper to rent it”.

I'm definitely renting !
This doesn't stop them asking for money, long after the rental period has expired.
Fortunately, parting with money after such requests is optional.

Unlike an asset pooling arrangement, commonly described as marriage .

[Jun]

Meanwhile, another lad is messaging me almost every day, but fortunately with no requests for money.
I wonder where this is going. I'd rather not be getting so friendly that he expects to see me very frequently on the next trip.
Out of the last 16 weeks or so spent in Thailand, I've met him 6 times, so not that regular.

[Gaybutton]

Meanwhile, another lad is messaging me almost every day

Do you respond to the messages?