Boys Requesting Money

[Dodger]

Not being conned into giving makes good sense in this environment, but giving and then expecting something in return makes even less sense - to me anyway.

When you're talking about boys from Cambodia you're talking about boys from one of the poorest countries on earth...and now things are even worse for them. This presents an opportunity to help a boy out that you really like if you have a mind to. To me, GIVING means exactly that. It has nothing to do with expecting anything in return.

Up2U

[Gaybutton]

It has nothing to do with expecting anything in return.

Expecting something in return, especially money you have "loaned", reminds me of that familiar phrase:

"A fool and his money are soon parted."

[Jun]

You get to guess whether I ever got the "collateral" or whether I ever heard from him again.

Almost by definition, you're supposed to take possession or control of "collateral" before lending the money out. It's a good job you're not running a pawnbroker !

Incidentally, the collateral suggestion was a bit of fun.
However, if, in some parallel universe, the request to borrow 2000 baht for 24 hours were a genuine loan, he'd have no problem putting up collateral.

[Gaybutton]

It's a good job you're not running a pawnbroker !

Agreed. But many of these boys think I am an ATM. They find out quickly that I don't qualify for that job either . . .

[christianpfc]

A straight boy I had in my room asked to borrow 10k THB to get his mocy (?) back from police (?), and offered a Samsung phone as collateral. I'm not a pawn shop, and I don't can't distinguish a genuine Samsung from a fake. The difficulty in this situation was keeping a sorry appearance when denying the request. The boy was close to tears, and I had to refrain from breaking into laughter from the absurdity of the situation (the boy trying to con me), which could have lead an ugly situation (loss of face for the boy).

Recently another money request, quickly brushed away. That reminds me of a straight German friend 2021 in Cambodia. He told me about one his gigs asking for money, and he complained to me that he now has to explain to her why he can't give or send her money, because of the world-wide economical situation in general and his in particular. I told him he does not have to explain anything. When I'm asked for money, I say "NO" and repeat "NO" as often as is necessary to stop the conversation or change subject. I never had to block anyone over a money request.

[Gaybutton]

When I'm asked for money, I say "NO" and repeat "NO" as often as is necessary to stop the conversation or change subject.

I agree. That is the best way to handle it. In my opinion the worst way to handle it is trying to explain why you cannot or will not give money. They have an answer for everything.

Part of the problem is no matter how much money you give to a boy when he asks for it, it's never enough - and he will be back for more. I rarely see that to fail.

Also, there is no such thing as a loan. No matter what he tells you, it's not a loan. It's a "give".

There are, of course, exceptions here and there, but not many. That's why I don't give them my telephone number or E-mail.

When I first moved to Thailand I hired a tutor to help me learn the language. I asked her how to handle it when these boys plea for money, especially when backed up with a heartbreaking sob story. She said, "Tell him he will have to do whatever he would do if he had never met you."

[Jun]

When I'm asked for money, I say "NO" and repeat "NO" as often as is necessary to stop the conversation or change subject.

Trying to kill off all hope of them getting money does seem to be the best approach. Never send any and eventually they may give up.
Send money and the next request may be within a few days.

The idea of sending money for one specific worthwhile cause & then hoping they won't ask for a long time doesn't seem to work.

I never had to block anyone over a money request.

I've never blocked a regular boy over a money request. I just turn off notifications for that individual, so I can either ignore messages or reply much later.
If I get unwanted dating app messages off a boy who I've never met or one who I've met & is a "no repeat", I may well block them.
There is no point in wasting time over it.

[Gaybutton]

A couple days ago I actually had a boy I've never met and never even heard of send a message telling me he is in Bangkok and would like to meet me in Pattaya. Could I please send 2000 baht so he could take a bus to Pattaya, eat, and have money to stay in a hotel?

Can you guess how much he got . . . ?

[Jun]

A couple days ago I actually had a boy I've never met and never even heard of send a message telling me he is in Bangkok and would like to meet me in Pattaya. Could I please send 2000 baht so he could take a bus to Pattaya, eat, and have money to stay in a hotel?

Paying a boy you've never met in advance is one of the most reliable ways to lose money. That's up there with setting fire to your wallet.

One of many scams we can encounter on line. But for anyone with functioning brain cells, it's easy to say no.

That's a slightly different category of problem to boys we know asking for donations, where we know the boys well and might be quite attached to them. Even if it's still just business.

[Gaybutton]

Paying a boy you've never met in advance is one of the most reliable ways to lose money.

Of course. And if I had given it to him either of two things would have happened:

1. That would be the last time I ever hear from him.
2. He would really show up, but only if he thinks he can connive even more money.

I think number 1 would be the most likely.